All We Can Say Is Thank You

It is with heavy hearts we announce that despite all this process, we once again landed on the wrong side of the statistics. We are not pregnant.

E.T. – not the movie

So, a quick update about the Embryo Transfer, which took place two days ago. There isn’t a lot to say other than it is the second pivotal point of the process. We know very little, and there isn’t much more to do than just wait…and continue with the shots.
 

We did place two embryos inside Kristina’s uterus. I say “we” but really the doctor did that; I just stood by, kept my hand on her shoulder and smiled a lot.

72 Hours After

We got the report yesterday, but due to family, friends and football, I just did not get around to writing a post. But I can summarize it all together today. Tomorrow will be a “growing” day for the embryos and they are not examined, so we won’t have any additional information until after the transfer of the best two on Tuesday.

"Sciency" Details and Other Results

Moments ago, Kristina received the first phone call from the clinic to give the Day-1 report on the embryos. There will be some potentially icky details, but I promise no pictures. I say this because Kristina and I jest about making a baby in front of her mother yesterday. So, there are some really good puns to be had right now.

More than a Baker’s Dozen

The procedures went very well, and both patients are resting comfortably. We are both sore and have to limit our physical exercise over the next few days. This brings up the important concern of who will do the house chores during that time.

T-Minus 24 …Matey!

This being September 19 and therefore International Talk Like A Pirate Day, I am tempted to write this entire blog post as if you’d changed your FaceBook language. However, as my wife is new to this tradition and the more serious nature of this blog, I will resist the urge…arrr!

Scheduling Zygotes

This weekend was a bit crazy – and I’m not sure why it had to be. I suppose things just don’t seem right sometimes unless there is the proper balance of chaos. However, I think some of it comes from a "pre-nesting" phase we seem to be experiencing from this whole IVF process - and truth be told, I am kinda being the girl about most of it. However, after Saturday’s ultrasound and adjustments to the amount of Menopur Kristina continues to take, we now have a 95% certainty of when we will be performing the extraction procedure.

And Queue Vomit...

Kristina did throw up last night
A twist of fate, I feared she might
Her dosage has been upped a slight
For the numbers are not quite right

Unknown Steps...

I had planned to write about the orange lying and my continued struggles with giving Kristina the shots. However, after the emotional day it has it has been, that honestly seems like the least of the issues.

Visceral...what?

Okay, I admit I actually had to google that one to get the definition.  For those of you who don't know the actual definition (which probably only includes me and my sister) that is:  

Of or relating to the viscera. Relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect: "the voters' visceral fear of change".

I only pasted that because I had it up in Google, and because it helps clarify the origin of my emotions which are, yes, visceral.

Needles Get Under My Skin

Well, last night I did it. I stabbed my wife...with a little 28-gauge needle and injected her with 10 units of Lupron. It wasn't too horrible of an experience; although I didn't look her in the eye the rest of the night and then I left the bathroom to watch a movie about Jesus.

Step 38: Social Support

I wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone who has been following our blog during the in-vitro process. I noticed this morning that the total views of this blog broke the one-thousand mark. That translates to about 60 people looking per post on average. That's a lot of support, prayers and good wishes for our journey to babyhood. That means more than can be well expressed here. Thank you all!

Orange Voodoo

So, it's not really voodoo, but I have been sticking needles into a "graven image" in hopes of practicing some sympathetic magic. Of course, I'm referring not to The Golden Bough theories of magic, but rather I mean I hope to gain the trust and sympathy of my spouse - even if by some magical means. We are both a bit nervous about the upcoming need for me to deliver the progesterone shots after the oocyte retrieval.

About to Get Real

This morning I confirmed today's date for a daily couples' reading we actually only do semi-routinely. She affirmed the date and followed up with the reminder that tomorrow is her "Suppression Check." What that means is

About Comments...

We removed the CAPTCHA requirement to leave a comment. I do find Google's anti-spam images extremely difficult for this human to read. This is an annoying (but sometimes necessary) feature; however,

The Merchant of Venice

I cannot help but consider Shakespeare’s play as I review my thoughts about meeting with the urologist yesterday. He explained how he would extract the “pound of flesh” from me while under a local anesthetic. Further, like Bassanio, my doctor will have to select the correct box in order to win the prize. Fortunately, my doctor is not limited by choosing only one vessel.
 

Needlepoint

Last night, Kristina started her Lupron shots. She was rather sneaky about it, quieting disappearing after dinner to self-administer the shot. No screaming and resounding thud from fainting to the floor. Although I didn’t witness it, I’m sure she handled poking herself with a needle better than I would have.

Disclaimer

So a very dear friend cautioned me in regards to posting about IVF... Her concern was humbling, but I told her Dj and I had talked about it and decided the more people praying for us the better.  However, in that regard, I felt it necessary at this juncture to highlight one tiny important tidbit that may have been lost among the excitement of the ensuing journey:  this procedure is not a guarantee.  In fact, the success rate for IVF is about 50-60%, with a 15-50% miscarriage rate.  Of course, age, health, and environmental factors all play a part in these percentages, as well as fate and a little bit of luck :-) 

Our goals are to keep my stress levels low, and keep me healthy.  We both really appreciate your excitement but want to make sure you are all aware this is not a guarantee for success.

All that said, my current status is I'm usually always tired.  Add to that fact I'm trying to wean off caffeine and you get one tired girl who could probably sleep through the entire week.  I start Lupron shots on Wednesday and have my suppression check on the 5th.  So, we're trucking along having fun with this scary mess!

Love to all.

Adjusting The Sails

The purpose of this blog seems to change as more time passes. At first it was technical and details of the medical procedure. However, it has become a lot more about the emotional stress of life while going through the IVF process.
 

Not Exactly Serendipity

There has been a significant event that has potentially threatened our IVF process. For reasons of confidentiality, I cannot explain the problem here. But what I will say is that this is stressful and heart-breaking. At times when hurdles keep springing up before us, one cannot help but wonder in superstition. Is the universe trying to tell us something?
 

An Inconvenient Truth (Not for the Faint of Heart)

Not to be all 'gore-y' but I have now had 2 periods in the last 11 days.  And I'm grouchy a lot.   This. Sucks.

That is all.

Drowning in Dishwater

Stress comes from unmet expectations, I frequently say. I did not expect the vasectomy-reversal to fail. That has been stressful. I did not expect the IVF to be such a complex process. That has been stressful too. However, I really didn’t expect to have to buy a new dishwasher. (It’s peculiar how little inconveniences can create so much stress atop the other).

Dear Future Child

You do not yet exist, but already you are loved. Your mother and I are working hard, making sacrifices and literally giving of our own flesh to ensure your own survival. I know this will be more than you can understand for years to come, but I want you to know how important you are to us already.
 

Day Six: The Classroom

Today was an overwhelming day. On the schedule was the two-hour class on IVF from the Bennett Fertility Institute. Prior to that, Kristina had to have an ultrasound to measure the size of her uterus, and the doctor counted the number of potential eggs to be harvested. Eighteen, which is a bit above average; so we are optimistic on that count.
 

Easy Weekend – Busy Week

I implied in my last post that things would get busier on Day Three. Well, we swallowed a few pills (anti-biotics and hormones) but nothing that was too trying.

Day "Step" Two

So, today was less busy. I went to work. Kristina went to an interview for work. But we had no direct medical appointments or duties today. Tomorrow? Well, it gets busy. But before we get into that, I thought I would take advantage of this lull to give a little further explanation of the process, i.e., what all those acronyms I used yesterday really mean.

Step One

Kristina and I decided before we got married that we would have a child together. It’s probably an important discussion to have prior to one’s nuptials. However, there were some hurdles to overcome, and because of those obstacles we kept this decision secret from nearly everyone.